


Delicate (13th December)

by Razzamatazz



Series: 25 days of Steve and Bucky [13]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers Tower, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Emotions, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Some Bucky that I used to know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 07:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2765327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razzamatazz/pseuds/Razzamatazz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>It's not that we're scared, it's just that it's delicate</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bucky is living in the Avengers Tower with Steve and can't help feeling that Steve is just waiting for the Bucky that he knew, who may or may not come back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delicate (13th December)

**Author's Note:**

> This story was partially inspired by the lyrics for _Young Folks_ by _Peter, Bjorn and John_ , and largely inspired by the song _Delicate_ by _Damien Rice_ (because I just think that song describes Bucky and Steve so you should definitely listen to it if you haven't already). Sorry if it's a bit short :P
> 
> Thanks for reading as always and let me know what you think. Should I do more post-winter soldier? more AUs? more teenagers stuff? I dunno, you tell me ;)

Steve woke up to the sound of crashing pots and pans from the kitchen and the smell of burning. He turned over to look at the digital alarm clock glowing beside the bed and groaned when he saw the time. **3:07**. Steve rubbed his eyes tiredly then sat up and swung his legs out of the bed. He padded barefoot over to the kitchen, flinching slightly at the cold tiles beneath his feet. Bucky was standing in the middle of the kitchen holding a tray of what Steve assumed were cookies, although it was hard to tell because they were completely black. Bucky turned around to look at Steve and he saw that Bucky had flour over his face and in his hair, as well as dark circles under his eyes. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Bucky asked looking apologetic. Steve wanted to tell him that he was the loudest assassin he’d ever met, but he refrained from saying so. Bucky didn’t like being reminded of his time as the Winter Soldier. 

“What are you doing?” Steve tried to suppress a yawn but failed.

“I couldn’t sleep so I decided to do some baking,” Bucky put the tray of burnt cookies on the side and started mixing a bowl of batter.

“Oh, is that what you call this?” Steve said walking over to the tray and trying to pick up one of the cookies from it, before realising that the only way he was going to get the charred cookies off of the tray would be with a chainsaw or something similar. “Did you have another nightmare?” Steve asked drawing closer to Bucky.

Bucky didn’t respond, he just stirred the batter more furiously and Steve thought he saw him brush away a tear with the back of his hand.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Steve touched Bucky’s shoulder lightly.

“No,” Bucky said shortly, flinching away from Steve’s touch. Bucky busied himself with rummaging through the cupboards for some cinnamon, avoiding looking anywhere in Steve’s direction.

“What’s wrong?” Steve grabbed Bucky’s wrists and Bucky’s head snapped towards him, his eyes full of anger and tears. He looked at Steve hard for a few moments before his shoulders hunched and his resolve broke.

“I’m not him,” Bucky whispered, his eyes refusing to meet Steve’s. “I’m not the Bucky you remember, I’m not the boy you grew up with. Maybe I should just leave.”

“Not this again,” Steve sighed, releasing Bucky’s wrists. He was going to need some coffee in order to deal with this. 

“What?” Bucky asked angrily. “You think I haven’t noticed how everyone is walking on eggshells around me, like they’re scared I’m going to blow up and kill them all at any second.”

“It’s not that we’re scared, it’s just that it’s… delicate.” Steve replied lamely as he put the coffee on.

“Well stop treating me like I’m fucking delicate!” Bucky threw his arms up in frustration. “Look, the man you loved is dead. I’m not him. I don’t remember, I mean sure I get flashes but that’s it.”

“I know that, and that’s all more reason why you should stay,” Steve poured the coffee into a mug.

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew the things I’ve done. I’m a goddamn murderer, Steve!” Bucky’s eyes looked at him, half indignant, half almost pleading.

“We both know that wasn’t _you_!” Steve said exasperatedly and took a long drink of his coffee. “And anyway, I know a lot more than you think I do,” Bucky snorted at this.

“Yeah, well whatever you think you know about me, the reality is ten times worse.” He replied bitterly.

“I know that the man I loved isn’t dead, he’s still here and is standing right in front of me. It doesn’t matter what you did before, what matters is who you are now,” Steve took Bucky’s hand cautiously, running his thumb back and forth over Bucky’s knuckles.

“You shouldn’t be waiting around for a man who may never come back,” Bucky objected but didn’t remove his hand from Steve’s.

“I don’t need to wait, because the you I’m in love with now is the same you I was in love with before, and the same you I will be in love with tomorrow. Just because you’re different doesn’t mean I love you any less, it just gave me an opportunity to fall in love with you all over again,” Steve tilted Bucky’s head up so that their eyes met. Bucky stared into his eyes looking confused. “But it’s your choice if you want to stay here, you can go if that’s what you really want,” Bucky looked at him blankly for a few seconds.

“You love me?” was all Bucky managed to stutter out in response.

“Of course I love you Buck!”

“As I am now?” Bucky asked, still looking puzzled.

“Yes,” Steve answered simply. “But if that makes you uncomfortable then we could talk to Stark about getting you your own floor, I just thought it would be helpful to have someone around for when you have nightmares,” Bucky looked down at the floor and shook his head, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Steve, if I had a problem with sharing a floor with you then I would have said when I moved in,” Bucky grinned.

“Are you sure you’re okay with it… now you know how I feel?” Steve blushed slightly, hoping that Bucky wouldn’t see in the dim light.

“You’re right, now I know how you feel I would prefer to share a bed rather than just a floor,” Bucky smiled wolfishly at him. 

“Really?” Steve looked searchingly into Bucky’s blue eyes to see whether or not he was joking.

“Of course! I love you like crazy, punk,” Steve’s breath caught in his throat.

“That’s what you used to call me,” Steve whispered as Bucky took his other hand.

“Well it suits you,” Bucky smiled as he raised Steve’s hand to his mouth and planted soft kisses along his knuckles.

**Author's Note:**

> Some of my stories in this series haven't been showing up in my works (like this one) so I may have to delete this and post it again if adding this note doesn't work...


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